I encapsulated two placentas, wrapped over 100 bars of soap and made a dozen soy candles. Oh, and had a mini melt-down.
Thank you universe for the sledgehammer. Seriously, thank you. Evidently your gentle nudges, followed by insomnia and headaches failed to get my attention. Mission accomplished, you have it now. Last week I had a public rant on Facebook about boundaries. I followed that up with a blog post about boundaries. And yesterday, I had a meltdown about the lack of boundaries. Well, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't a complete meltdown. I decided that I didn't have time for that. I know, poor me. Boo hoo ;)
This is a new week. I'm laying it all down. I love my fellow birth workers... I love my clients...but I love myself and my family as well. I owe it to myself to create balance, and it begins today.
Peace.
P.S. How can this not make me smile....crooked mouth and all. Life is good and it's getting better :)
Matilda in her favorite spot...ON the Bali Bed!
Lorie, I was immobilized on Saturday by a headache --mind you nothing strong or that should have kept me in bed all day, but there it was dull and faint and every time I tried to get up I was knocked down. I knew it was a way of getting me to finally listen and accept that nothing external could ever affect me more than I was already torturing myself. I resolved to simply do the best that I could and know that it was enough and all would be well. I woke up Sunday with no headache and spent the whole day with my little one despite having tons of things that needed to get done and I had one of the best days I have ever had, eating, scooting, playing in the park, shopping for chocolate, scooting some more and eating again.
ReplyDeleteI am committed to learning to say no and mean it. I hear myself saying yes when what I meant to say is no.
I completely understand what you are saying. You listened!!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I really do try to listen to those initial subtle messages. Saying no is difficult for so many of us. But in order for me to be present for those I need to be present for will require me to say no to others. In the case of birth workers, it's classic care provider syndrome. I know this, but still....I fall prey.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Balance. balance. balance :)
You need some henna zen time for yourself! Just saying...
ReplyDeleteShawna
Indeed!! Let's make a date this week :)
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